phoenix wright castle defender
by barrylawn
Summary: phoenix wright must defend a castle CAN HE DO IT?
1. investigation

PHOENIX WRIGHT CASTLE DEFENDER

BY BARRYLAWN

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

the rollercoster flew across the carnival at 1000 edgeworths per hour

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" screamed phoenix

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed maya

the coaster turned but it hit a broken rail and the part phoenix and maya were in it jumped off the rails and flew across the lands.

"GOD DAMMIT MAYA!" shouted phoenix

then they crashed through a wall and passed the room and people looked at them weirdly and then they flew out the other wall and kept flying until they landed in a village

"OUCH" shouted phoenix "where are we"

"hello sir would you like a suvineer for visiting" siad merchant

"no i want info where are we"

"you are in castle town were named that because its a town and theres a castle over there"

he pointed at the castle

it was impressive

suddenly the castle FELL DOWN

"AAAAAAAAAAH" shouted everyone

they ran to the broken castle

phoenix and maya joined them to see what was happening

"alright alright this is the police" said the a guy and he checked the rubble

and underneeth a wall

WAS THE GUY!

"AAAGH" shouted police "HE IS DEAD!"

"NOOOOO" shouted everyone

the police turned to the broken castle and pointed at it

"YOU did this didnt you?!"

the castle remained silent

"heh heh heh. boys arrest it"

the boys picked up the remains of the castle and carried it to prison

"what the hell" said maya

"wow they arresting the guy" said phoenix "i guess i better defend it"

they ran after the boys and chased them all the way to the underground dungeon in the kings spare castle

"hello mr castle" said phoenix when he arrived at the cell which was full of bricks and stones

there was no response

"huh wonder why hes not talking" said phoenix

and he went to the crime scene to look for evidence

there was a guy lying on the ground and it was the prince

"oh no the prince is dead!" shouted phoenix

"back off" said a guard who came running at them with spear "this is crime scene"

phoenix took off his badge and show it

"but im an attorney"

"hmph fine but dont touch anything the prosecutor isnt here yet"

phoenix looked at the body and noticed it was crushed and full of rocks

"dammit how we gonna do this" said phoenix

AT THE TRIAL

"court is not in session" said the mystical judge

"i am ready your honor"

"i am also ready" said a voice and the smoke appeared and when it was gone PROSECUTOR JACOB GRIMM WAS THERE

"grimm what are you doing here this isnt a fairy tale adventure"

"i am here because barrylawn hasnt written a chapter of ace attorneys fairy tales for weeks lazy fuck no wonder jakkid166 is more popular"

"please make your opening statement" said judge

"the defendant is a castle named temple temple" said grimm "he was supposed to be a very well made castle that would never fall but he fell on top of the prince and killed him"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix

"SHUT UP" shouted grimm "the castle had no reason to fall because it was so well built so theres no reason it would

fall other than to murder."

"fuck" said phoenix and he was penilized

"now i call my witness to the stand" said grimm

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. trial part 1

PHOENIX WRIGHT CASTLE DEFENDER

TRIAL PART 1

BY BARRYlawn

the king came to the stand

"name and occupation" said grimm

"my name is king king i am the king of temple temple"

"very good" said grimm

"um" said phoenix "since your owner cudnt you be respossible?"

"no" said king "and ill tell ya why"

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"i was sitting in my castle that day"

"i sipped my tea"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "what blend"

"godot blend 106"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "your honor godot drinks coffee not tea!"

"i see" said honor "but is this important?"

"yes" said phoenix slamming desk "because he lied and now we must find out why"

the king sweated

"well wright" said grimm "can you tell us why he lied"

"obviously because hes HIDING SOMETHING!"

"but what" said grimm

"i dunno testify witness"

"fine" said king

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"yeah i was drinking coffee"

"it was godot blend 106"

"suddenly the castle shook and i ran out"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "your lying"

"what why"

"because godot blend 106 contains milk salt and SLEEPING PILLS!" he shouted reading the recipe

"WHAT" shouted king

"thats right! thats why godot always drinks it before bed so he can sleep after coffee clever right?"

"OBJECTION" shouted grimm "maybe he didnt fall sleep!"

"OBJECION" shouted phoenix "godot 106 ALWAYS puts you to sleep within 1 minute of drinking it!"

"DAMN THATS FUCKING POISON!" shouted grimm

phoenix slammed the desk

"well king you said the castle shook but then HOW ARE YOU HERE?!"

"rrrrgh its very simple" said king sweating hard "witness testimony"

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"my servant came to me at throne room"

"he gave me the coffee saying it was blend 106"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "then maybe he wanted to kill you!"

"OBJECTON" shouted grimm "nonsense! and the next statement will prove all"

"how you know"

"because i am magic"

king king the king kingtinued

"thats when i fell aseep and the castle shook"

"i saw the servant run to me and felt him pick me up"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "then what"

"then i woke up outside"

"wait so..."

"so the servant brought me out yeah"

"WHAT" shouted phoenix

"ha ha ha now what" said grimm

"now..." said phoenix and he slammed the desk "NOW im gonna call the servant to testify!"

"WHAT" shouted grimm "why?"

"because he knows what happened WHILE temple temple broke down!"

"hmm good idea" said judge "call the servant to the stand"

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. trial part 2

(this chapters gonna be craaaaazy theres reveals and crossovers and fights and everything so read it all!)

PHOENIX WRIGHT CASTLE DEFENDER

CHAPTER 3

TRIAL PART 2

the servant came to the stand

"my name is servant servant"

"damn these names are getting old" said phoenix phoenix

"please testify about what happened when you carried mr king king out of the cattle"

"very well sir"

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"i felt the castle shake and ran to the king"

"he was on the floor"

"i picked him up and ran outside"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "what exit did you use"

"well sir theres only one exit to the castle and that is the main gate"

"add this to your testimony" said phoenix

"so i shall good sir" said servant

"we escaped through the main gate"

phoenix thought back to when the crime happened

"(wait a fucking minute)" thought phoenix "OBJECTION!" shouted phoenix "the gate was closed!"

"OH DAMN" shouted servant

"WHAAAAAT" shouted grimm and hair got on his face

"thats right just before the castle collapse we got a glance at the castle and THE GATE TO IT WAS DOWN!"

"OBJECTION" shouted grimm "your the defense! of course you saw that!"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "well the merchant who point it to us is a witness HE CAN CONFIRM THIS!"

"JESUS FUCK" shouted grimm

"but what are you implying sir?!" shouted servant

"im saying that you mustnt have used the gate to get out!"

"OBJECTION" shouted grimm "if your gonna say the windows they are FAR too high up to climb to and they dont open anyway"

phoenix shook his head

"i have a better idea"

"WHAT"

"we thought that the castle fell down for no reason but thats not true... it fell down because there was a HOLE IN THE WALL!"

"BWAAAAAT" shouted grimm

the servat started shaking

"thats right you knew there was no hope in escape so you blasted a hole in the wall and jumped out! THATS WHY THE CASTLE STARTED TO BREAK!"

"OOOOOOGHHHHH NOOOO-"

"OBJECTION" shouted grimm "ridiculous"

"what how"

"think back to king kings testimony he said that temple temple started shaking BEFORE he went to sleep!"

"OOOOOOOH" shouted phoenix

"ha i knew you were bluffing fool" said grimm

"aha phew that was close" said servant

"(DAMMIT HOW DID THE HOLE APPEAR?!)"

he thought about this

there had to be hole in the wall but how to prove it

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "i... request... to RECONSTRUCT TEMPLE TEMPLE!"

"YOUUU WHAAAAAAT" shouted grimm

"please your honor let me try it!"

"ummmmmm ok" said honor

"YES!"

he ran to temple temple

"ummmmm" said phoenix looking at the temple "dammit i cant build"

"well what are we gonna do nick"

"hmmmmmmm I GOT IT!"

phoenix got out his phone and dialled a number

"hey bob could you get over here need y'r help"

bob came over and fixed the castle just cause he can.

"done" said bob "ill take money now phoenix"

"awww come on bob were friends right?" said phoenix

"ugh you cheapass friend" said bob and he left

"ok well dats done now lets investigate the defendant!"

they walked into the castle with grimm and judge

"ok where should we start looking" said maya

"we need to find where the hole was" said phoenix

they went to the throne room

"wow look a throne!" said maya

she ran over to it and sat on it

"nick get me a cookie!"

"fuck off there maya" said phoenix pulling her off

they looked around moving bookshelves and chair to find the hole but it was nowhere to be found

"dammit did bob do the job too well?" said phoenix

"heh looks like your hole didnt exist phoenix" smirk grimm

"well maybe its not in here"

they ran out the throne room toward the exit and then they noticed a mess in the hall

there were books on the floor and everything

"wow nick king king is messier than you!"

king king hit her on head with a broom

"oww fucker!" shouted maya

"how DARE you" shouted king king king

phoenix walked down hall and found a hole in the wall

"GOT IT!" shouted phoenix and they were back in court

"NNNNNNNGH" grunted grimmmmmmm "so there really was a hole!"

"our honor send these bricks off for dna and fingerprint analis!"

"ok" said judge

TEST

judge got the results back

"ummmmm" said judge

"what"

"the fingerprints belong to phoenix wright and maya fey!"

"WHAAAAT" shouted phoenix

"BUT HOW" shouted maya

"WAIT A MINUTE" shouted phoenix and then he remembered flying off the rollercoster and smashing through a wall "OH FUCK ITS THE ROLLERCOASTORS FALLT!"

"too bad" shouted judge "you hurt a temple and killed a prince you two are going to jail!"

"NO BUT WHAT ABOUT BOBS PRINTS?!"

"aha but you just confessed" said grimm

"NOOOOOOOO" shouted phoenix

"i declare temple temple NOT GUILTY"

confetti fell on temple temple

"now for you two" said judge

"I DECLARE YOU-"

"wait"

said a voice

"WHOS THERE" shouted judge

AND THEN THE CASTLE TURNED AROUND

"I AM"

"WHAAAAAAT YOU TALK?!"

"yeah"

"congratualtions on your aquittal mr temple!" shouted maya

"THANK YOu" shouted temple "AND AS REWARD FOR BELIEVING ME I SHALL HELP YOU ESCAP!"

temple PUNCHED THE JUDGE IN HIS FACE and then a bridge fell from his gate "CLIMB IN PHOENIX AND MAYA!"

phoenix and maya climbed the bridge and it went up so the guys with pitchforks couldnt get up after him

temple ran out the courtroom but everyone chased him

"PHOENIX" shouted temple "theyre catching up get the bow and arrow from the bow place!"

"OK"

phoenix ran to the bow place and got a bow and lots of arrows in a sack

he then climbed to the top and took aim

"SHOOT EM NICK" shouted maya

he shot and shot and he killed lotsa guys they until they were _trembling_ before him but he kept shooting

and shooting

one by one they all died

"HA HA HA" laughed temple "THESE SKRUBS DONT STAND A CHANCE AGAINST PHOENIX WRIGHT ACE CASTLE DEFENDER!"

SHOT

SHOT

SHOT

"GET REKT SKRUBS" shouted phoenix and everyone was dead

"WOW" shouted maya "nice shooting nick!"

"yeah thanks" said phoenix

soon they arrived back in los angeles and phoenix sued the carnival for $5000000000

he lost

THE END


End file.
